


Kiss Toll

by MadDub



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDub/pseuds/MadDub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has an important appointment to attend to. Unfortunately for him, Sollux decides there is a price for leaving his house early.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Toll

"Sollux!" John cried, turning his head away as he was forced closer.

"Just one kiss," the troll lisped, smirking as the human tried to squirm about. It was no use though; he was perfectly captured in Sollux's psionics, and wasn't going anywhere the troll didn't dictate any time soon.

"No! That's so . . . gay. And I'm not gay," John protested, pouting at his taller troll friend. "S'not cool, buddy."

"The toll for leaving early is one kiss," he said, refusing to back down, even to his human accomplice's admittedly cute pouty face. "It's not like one kiss is going to turn you into a--what did you call it again? A 'homo'? It won't turn you into a homo, dude."

"It might!"

"Don't be stupid. Of course it won't. Now pay up."

John pursed his lips, squinting thoughtfully at his troll palhoncho, before he beamed, a smug smile curling against his lips. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to stay, won't I?"

Just like that, he felt the troll's psionics release him, allowing him to stand back on his own two feet again. He grinned, "There! Problem solved! And no kissing was involved," he felt pretty proud of himself for using a solution that didn't involve any gay stuff, or he did until he noticed Sollux smirking down at him.

"But didn't you have an important appointment?" he asked innocently.

That easily, John's pride crumbled, the blood draining from his face as he remembered—it was the opening of the new prank shop today, Jane's Joke Shop—and it was going to open in an hour! If he didn't leave immediately, he'd miss the grand opening, and if it was one thing John didn't plan to do, it was to miss the welcome of the greatest store in town! What kind of prankster would miss such a wonderful feat? A bad one, that's what!

"Sollux, I have to leave!" John exclaimed, lunging for the front door.

"Ah, ah, ah," the troll answered, stopping the young human with his powers once more, dragging him back to where the Gemini stood and turning Egbert around to face him. "Not so fast. You didn't pay the early exiting price."

_"Sol!"_

"Yes, John?"

"Sol, I need to go! Seriously! Let me go!"

"I'm not seeing a kissy face."

_"Sol!"_

"Yes, John?"

"Just let me—mmugh!" The Heir of Breath let out a roar of frustration as he tried and failed to flail his limps about like an angry Karkat, feeling a childish tantrum threatening to break free. "Let me leave already! I'm going to miss the grand opening if I don't hurry!"

"Then I guess you better pay up, huh?" Sollux asked in mock-concern, cocking his head to one side and arching a brow at the struggling boy.

"Gah! You are officially the worst troll friend ever!"

"Still not seeing a kissy face."

John made an odd sound, before he smiled smugly at Sollux and said, "Fine! If that's the way you want it, two can play at this game!" And with that, the troll found himself swept off his feet by a gust of wind, gasping and flailing about panickedly while the human boy still caught in the throes of the psionics cackled.

"Why you little—!" Sollux growled, bending a finger that sent Egbert careening towards the suspended pisionic, "Just pay up!"

"Noooooooo!"

"JN, if you don't at least let me down from here, I swear to Gog—"

"You put me down first!" John shouted, using the wind to back his friend up as he was forced closer, though he didn't seem to notice they were rapidly crossing the room through the air, coming up fast on the opposite wall of the hive. "You big bully!"

Sollux snorted, "No way, you owe me a kiss before you can leave."

"Sol!"

"Yes, John?"

"Ragh! You're such a—AGH! WALL!" He screamed just in time to crash his front into Sol's, who let out a loud grunt as he was sandwiched between John's body and the wall. They were pressed so tightly together Egbert actually moved his legs outside of Sollux's, not wanting to have too many limbs crushing his friend, and he put his hands on either side of the troll's head, attempting and failing to push off the wall.

Even his head was still gravitating towards his friend's, and he realized with a start that it was because Sol still hadn't turned off his powers, though John had already dropped his. "Hey! Quit it!"

"Quit what?" he asked innocently, putting more power again the young Egbert.

"Quit trying to get me to kiss you! No homo, man!"

"Trolls don't prefer a gender, remember dickhead? Now shut up and pucker those soft human suction cups." The force was too much by that point, and John's head snapped forward, his lips slamming into Sollux's, who moaned appreciatively as he opened his mouth, fangs cutting into the human's vulnerable skin.

"Ow!" he protested, though his voice was muffled.

Sollux was purring against him, claws digging into the waistband of his jeans, hips grinding against John's, who blushed and went still, frozen in shock.

"Bucket," Sol murmured against his human's skin, moving from his mouth to press small kisses down his jaw and neck. A bucket floated up next to them, in easy reach of either of the two, and the young Egbert couldn't help but tremble slightly, eyes widening at the sight. After many a shouted discussion with Karkat, he understood perfectly well what that bucket symbolized.

"H-hey . . . I-I'm not a—"

"Relax, JN," Sol rumbled, looking up at the shaking boy with a impish grin, discolored eyes flashing, "I won't tell anyone."

" . . . Do we have to do it against the wall?"

"Would you prefer my desk?"

" . . . Maybe."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this didn't suck. Thanks to anyone who actually read!


End file.
